My plans for maternity leave included learning conversational French and teaching myself how to play the guitar.
Let that sink in for a moment.
As a new mom, I honestly believed that I might get bored because caring for a newborn might not fully occupy my time. This is insanity. This is me.
I did not grow up counting down the days until I could be a mommy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved baby dolls and Barbie dolls just as much as the next girl. I was not opposed to motherhood. I didn’t really think it was good or bad. I didn’t really think about motherhood at all.
I grew up, went to college, got married, became an accountant, moved to Florida, worked for a public accounting firm, and lived my life. My husband and I always said we were on the five-year plan. When the five years had come and gone, we stuck to the pre-determined schedule and got pregnant. Type A much?
The baby came and my maternity leave arrived. I quickly realized that boredom would not be an issue in my life for at least the next 18 years.
Despite not accomplishing my plan to learn a foreign language and teach myself how to play a musical instrument, I enjoyed the time with my sweet baby boy.
As the time neared for me to return back to work part-time for tax season, I looked at my plan to work part-time and stay home part-time and thought, “This will be just lovely.”
Turns out my plans for returning to work were about as accurate as my plans for maternity leave. When I was at home, I felt like I should be working on work. When I was at the office, I felt like I should be mothering at home. It wasn’t totally horrible but it was definitely not lovely.
In those moments when I felt like I was getting the worst of both worlds, I thought about what it would be like if I didn’t work outside the home. I found the thought equally appealing and terrifying. Appealing because this feeling of being torn between work and home would no longer exist. Terrifying because this was not the plan.
I never dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t even know what that would look like for me.
Change of Plans
One late afternoon as I was getting ready to leave the office, I remembered that I needed to call a client. I glanced down at my scratch paper and dialed the number written by the client’s name.
The phone rang and a lady answered. I said, “Hey Patricia, this is Emily from Suplee & Shea. I just had a couple of questions to wrap up your return.” The voice on the other end replied, “Emily! This is Marita, dear.”
Somehow, I had dialed a wrong number. Not just any wrong number but a wrong number that led to one of my clients I had not spoken with since before my maternity leave.
“Marita? Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I was trying to reach another one of my clients and somehow had your number written down beside their name,” I said, thoroughly confused how in the world I managed to make such a weird mistake.
“No, dear. I know why you called me. I am supposed to tell you something. The Lord has been laying it on my heart for several weeks now to call you and tell you. I haven’t called you yet so He arranged for you to call me.”
Gulp. Say what?
She continued, “He said to tell you that He knows that you are scared of the thought of quitting your job and staying home with your baby but He wants me to tell you that He promises to take care of you. Everything will be okay. You can trust Him.”
I honestly don’t remember what I said to her before hanging up. My mind reeled.
I am embarrassed to say that not only had I not yet verbalized my thoughts to my husband, I had not even prayed about them. My mind tried to wrap around how in the world Marita, a client who I had only spoken with a handful of times, knew my thoughts and doubts and fears.
I knew that conversation was no accident. I called my husband on my way home from work and told him for the first time how I had been feeling and about the phone call.
Long story short, I did leave my job and to say that He has taken care of me is a huge understatement.
I am convinced that the Lord chose to speak through Marita that day. Frankly, I would not have had the courage to trust Him if it were not for that conversation.
Trusting God with His Plans for Me
Since then, we've added three more boys to our family, and I've returned to the workforce. God's been faithful through each season as I've learned to trust His plans over my own.
God hears your spoken and unspoken prayers and knows your heart. He cares about all those things that you are anxious about and afraid to admit to yourself.
He will take care of you.
You can trust Him.
Emily and her husband, Darrin, are busy raising their four boys (and fur babies like the cute one in this photo) in Sarasota, FL. Emily is a CPA with a creative side and loves to travel all over the world. She is currently an accountant for their family business, Campbell Cabinetry Designs.