Perfection breeds fake rules. What are fake rules?
They are rules that we unknowingly make up for ourselves. These rules keep us on our self-created path of perfection. If you’re striving for perfection, you will have many rules. It was when perfection began to lose its hold on me that I realized how many fake rules I had created.
Here are some of my very own “rules” that I have created at some point during my lifetime:
If I’m going to exercise, I have to go for a run or it doesn’t really count.
If my child is going to be independent, they have to sleep in their own bed in their own room.
If it can’t be done perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all.
If I don’t stay in an office setting, then I will let people down and I’ll be wasting my MBA.
If someone doesn’t give me permission, then I can’t lead.
The Reality about Fake Rules
When I decided to leave the workforce and stay at home, I felt like I was letting numerous people down. Mentors who had poured into me through the years, my husband who allowed me to spend our money and three years’ time on an MBA, and myself for not sticking to THE PLAN. Fake rules make us believe lies.
Here’s the reality (the truth) around my fake rule that I was letting people down and not using my MBA if I wasn't in an office setting:
My husband is relieved that I am doing something that I love. He’s just as excited about my writing career as I am.
I haven’t let myself down one bit, and I am without a doubt using my MBA. Did you know that you need to be an entrepreneur to have a successful writing career? Writing is an amazing way to use my MBA and spend more time with my family. I enjoy the hustle, competitiveness, and flexibility of it.
My concern about letting my mentors down was unfair. My mentors will not put unrealistic expectations (or fake rules!) on me. They mentored me so that I could grow personally and professionally, and I have. Have I ever! I hope that I make them proud!
The Fake Rules Challenge
Maybe you’re reading this and you had no idea that you have fake rules. Or maybe you are very aware of your fake rules but aren’t sure how to rid yourself of them. I’ve been in both places. Let me reassure you that there is hope.
"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)
In January, I’d like to spend four weeks with you identifying your fake rules and working towards relaxing those rules. I'm calling it the Fake Rules Challenge. Why am I doing this? Because when we let go of our unnecessary rules, we can live freely and confidently in who God made us to be.
You can decide on the amount of time you want to give to this challenge. It can be five minutes a week or an hour. I want to meet you where you are at and not give you one more thing on your to-do list. Oh, but there is one more thing (see what I did there?), there will also be a drawing for a giveaway at the end of the four-week challenge!
Click here if you'd like to join the challenge or get more details.
I hope you’ll join me. In the meantime, what is a fake rule that you have? Comment below.
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