After adopting Brielle, I started to ask God for a boring, complacent life.
I didn’t need more adventure. More change, more unknown. I needed stability, a sense of that perceived control that I crave.
I wanted a season of complacency.
Two years later, I’ve decided to stop asking for that. I’ve decided to embrace unknown and just roll with it because God hasn’t allowed me to be complacent.
I’ve had to fight my own personality.
Type A people, like myself, aren’t known to crave adventure. (If I’m honest, I’ve had so much “rolling with it” in my recent life experience that I don’t even know if I’m still Type A.)
I can still glimpse that risk-averse girl in my rearview mirror clinging to her plans and expectations.
I liked perfect, tidy situations and plans. I’ve paid for it by creating fake rules for myself that have left me weary.
God has graciously opened my eyes to see the beauty in my imperfections. I’ve seen victory pour out of my failures.
It’s a breathtaking adventure that I wouldn’t trade for the world. It frees me and everyone around me.
More importantly, I’ve witnessed the indescribable ways of God.
In Genesis 22, Abraham was obedient in taking Isaac up to the mountain to be sacrificed. He didn’t know how God would spare his only son, but he was faithful in completing the task that God had asked of him.
Abraham trusted God to provide a way out. God provided a ram in the thicket (Genesis 22:13), just like He provided a lamb to save every single one of us.
One of my favorite authors Angie Smith wrote, “I am not sure about the ram, but I am sure about the lamb.”
God doesn’t always reveal everything to us. Sometimes we are forced to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ without all of the details. Sometimes we have to stay longer than we plan or leave earlier than we would like. This side of heaven we may never fully understand the depth of our decisions.
God’s ways are indescribable. He gave his only son for us. We can trust Him, even in the unknown adventures that we don’t want to take.
Maybe you’re facing a move or a new job. Or maybe you’re struggling with how to educate your child or whether it’s the right time to add to your family.
You can trust Him.
When I don’t understand, it usually works out better than I could ever imagine. He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).
Even when we don’t see God working, He is working. Even in smallness, big things happen.
I remember my mom telling me as a kid that being a Christian is never boring. Mom, there are no truer words.
Now, I strive to pray…
Dear God, I don’t want a boring life. I want a sold-out, passion for all that you call me to do. Whatever and wherever that is, I’m all in. Amen.