I currently have eight unfinished blog posts about adoption, faith, and motherhood in a file on my computer.
(Let's not even discuss my unedited book.)
I could share two or three of them with you right now, but there's something that makes me pause sometimes when I am writing and sharing my heart with you.
I always want my writing to be helpful and point you towards Jesus. That can mean not sharing until it is helpful. Sometimes we can wrestle through it together, but sometimes I have to work through it on my own first.
It’s like the safety training you receive on an airplane before takeoff. You always put on your mask before helping others. If you can’t breathe, you aren’t going to be able to help anyone else.
Learning to Breathe First
If adoption has taught me anything, it is this—I absolutely need a Savior that bestows grace on me and leads me into a deeper relationship with Him every single day.
His grace teaches me to breathe and take time to care for myself.
When people see our family together, we are hailed as heroes for “saving” a little girl from China. I see it in the adoring smiles and attention that our family often receives.
I am not a hero, and I didn’t save anyone. If I let it, this perception suffocates me. I really want to tell people how uncool I am and how much cooler I was pre-adoption. Post-adoption is a messy version of me. Pre-adoption was utopia but only because I still held onto my perceived control of life.
Post-adoption is messy because I'm forced to deal with my own personal junk—my own perspectives, expectations, and selfish desire for control. The things that exhaust me.
I’ve had to learn to breathe first and trust God with everything. I’m more ready for His calling on my life when I am completely surrendered to a relationship with Him. That means trusting Him with my marriage, my kids, and my career no matter what that looks like.
Spoiler alert! It’s nothing like I planned. So far, it’s so much better!
A Season to Breathe
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
Sometimes we need a season to be silent and learn to breathe first.
I’m a better wife, mother, and writer when I breathe and remember whose I am in the first place. We can’t live our lives running around striving to fulfill our own desires and expect to positively impact those around us, especially our loved ones.
God only asks us to be faithful and love the people around us. The results and timing are always up to Him.
Knowing when to just breathe in different seasons allows God to refresh and renew us for everything He desires to do through us.
Are you taking time to breathe first and remember whose you are?