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Why Being Scared and Awkward Is OK

May 14, 2019

 

This past weekend I found myself in a scary and awkward situation.

 

We were in Ohio for an adoption garage sale fundraiser that a dear friend had organized for our family. It was great to catch up with Ohio friends, and my best friend from first grade showed up to surprise me. It was fun!

 

Somewhere along the line, I got the brilliant idea to try and shoot the promo video for my book Made for More on the second afternoon of the fundraiser. The sale was held at the home of the videographer, so why not?

 

It seemed very practical and efficient to me. (Welcome to my brain, folks!)

 

Here’s what happened.

 

The cows across the field started uncontrollably mooing. My microphone died and I couldn’t say any words correctly to save my life.

 

It was a fail.

 

Do It Scared

 

This self-promotion, marketing portion of becoming an author is awkward and scary. I’d rather just hope you stumble across my book and want to buy it but that’s not reality.

 

As I work through final edits, I’m well aware that marketing needs to start now. The people that I'm publishing my book through kindly, and frequently, remind me of this too.

 

I hate being the center of attention. I’m just fine in the background.

 

It’s only through faithful obedience, that I do the thing that scares me the most. Obedience always matters more than any outcome.

 

Do you know what I love about what happened in my failed attempt to create a promo video on Saturday?

 

Yes, the cows failed me by being loud. Yes, the microphone failed me by dying. Yes, my words failed me.

 

But I never felt like I had failed or that I wanted to give up on this calling. In fact, I laughed and said, “We’ll do it another day.”

 

I’m not giving up.

 

I will do it scared. I will do it feeling inadequate.

 

Do you know why I can have this perspective?

 

It’s all about God and not me. When I remember that, I can do scary things.

 

Do It Awkward

 

I'm quick to tell people that I write better than I talk. Speaking in front of others is not natural for me. It's just awkward.

 

I’d easily be able to pour out my heart and tell you all about my book if it were just you and me chatting on a couch while our kids ran wildly outside or we sat across from each other sipping coffee at a table in a coffee shop.

 

Sometimes obedience feels awkward and that’s OK.

 

I don’t want to live a life that solely relies on what I am capable of doing. I want to live a life that desperately needs a Savior.

 

I got to hear a friend speak at church on Mother’s Day and I love the verse she centered around.

 

"His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3 (NIV)

 

I cheered (inside of course to not draw attention to myself) as she challenged Mom’s to live out their callings. It’s no coincidence that as I began preparing this blog post the next morning that this verse was in the forefront of my mind and the number one result in my Google search.

 

If I show up for my calling, God shows up too.

 

Get ready for scared and awkward videos coming your way, friends. If they aren’t awkward, then you’ve just witnessed a miracle.

 

What are you doing that is awkward and scary? Share it in the comments so we can all remember that we aren’t alone.

 

 

 

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