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My Mind is at War: Tornadoes, Coronavirus, and Adoption

Last week was hard.

Tuesday morning, I woke up to my husband saying, “Lauren, there was a tornado downtown last night, and your phone is blowing up. You should probably respond.” Devastation and loss too close to home.

Wednesday, an email saying that all adoption travel to Korea is suspended for now. Thanks, corona. This lengthens all adoption timeframes.

Thursday, I’m in the doctor’s office updating my physical for our home study that is expiring. As I leave the doctor’s office, the school calls. A confirmed case of coronavirus in our county. All schools closed through Monday for deep cleaning.

Thanks again, corona.

Sadness and drama surround me, and I just want it to stop.

It’s hard.

It’s unfair.

But, I have a choice.

Recently, I have been challenged to be more intentional with my choices surrounding my thought life. This long adoption wait has magnified the war raging in my mind.

I’m a processor, so my mind has really always been a battleground. I’ve allowed my thoughts to get the best of me many times, but I don't want to live that way anymore.

Here are some common thoughts that I battle.

Why did he say it THAT way? (Overanalyzing.)

We are NEVER going to finalize this adoption. Ever. (Negativity.)

We are moving and buying a house with a basement. (Fear.)

I trust no one to give me factual information about the coronavirus. (Cynical.)

Here’s the thing. I have a choice.

I can allow my thoughts to dictate my attitude and actions, or I can claim them in Jesus’ name. My ability to be obedient to God’s call on my life stems from me choosing to not give my thoughts precedence over God's truth.