top of page

6 Ways to Include Your Kids in the Adoption Process

“Mom, will my brother come home tomorrow?”

Once a month, this question is asked by one of my kids. Ever since we filled out our application to adopt from South Korea, before our home study was even complete, this question has been uttered numerous times out of innocence and curiosity.

I have found that our kids want to be a part of the adoption process. As hard as it is to answer their questions and include them, it is healthy and FUN to include them as much as possible in the adoption process.

This is our family’s second adoption and I have found that including them along the way makes the transition easier when your new child comes home. They’re more invested in this new family member when they’re a part of the process. Your kids get a front-row seat to God's redeeming power.

These six things have helped us include our kids in the adoption process while preparing them for the huge change ahead.

Trust me. You'll never regret including your kids.

1. Talk about the adoption from the very beginning.

Before we told our parents, or anyone else, we told our kids first. We have never regretted telling our kids first.

You don’t want them to find out from anyone else but you. If you're scared of the questions they'll ask, they likely won't have a lot of questions at first. In our experience, those will come later. The fact that they know first will make them feel like they’re on the inside of the whole process.

READ MORE! When I Can't Answer Her Questions

I remember telling our kids at bedtime about our second adoption. (I don’t recommend telling them at bedtime. That was a mom fail!) My oldest cried because of the fact that I would be doing a lot of paperwork again. She is the only one old enough to remember our first adoption process. Apparently, she only remembers me doing paperwork that took me away from her. Hello, mom guilt!

Our son, who is seven, cried because he said he couldn’t wait that long for his brother to come home.

Our youngest started crying, and she wasn’t sure why she was crying. Like I said, learn from my mistake and don’t do it at bedtime.

Tell them first, though!

2. Pray together.